a prayer for mercy.

Lord Christ, why am i so afraid of Your cross?


i tell myself that You died that i might have life.
     You bid me to come and die, that i might have life.

i tell myself that You died that i would not have to.
     You tell me that You died that i too might die.

You rose to life that i too might rise to life.
     and yet i flee from this, Your holy Death.
     and i cling to this, my miserable life.

in Your loving death You have shown me Hope.
     yet i cling to these, my vain hopes.

by sharing in Your death i might find joy.
     yet i cling to this, my fleeting happiness.

You have offered me a place in Your heavenly Kingdom.
     yet i cling to this, my earthly kingdom.


Lord Christ, have mercy on me.

hope.

[ my Lord, i have no hope but in Your Cross. You, by Your humility, sufferings and death, have delivered me from all vain hope. You have killed the vanity of the present life in Yourself and have given me all that is eternal in rising from the dead.
     my hope is in what the eye has never seen. therefore let me not trust in visible rewards. my hope is in what the human heart cannot feel. therefore let me not trust in the feelings of the heart. my hope is in what the hand has never touched. do not let me trust what i can grasp between my fingers, because death will loosen my grasp and my vain hope will be gone.
     let my trust be in Your mercy, not in myself. let my hope be in Your love, not in health or strength or ability or human resources.
      if i trust You, everything else will become for me strength, health and support. everything will bring me to heaven. if i do not trust You, everything will be my destruction. ] -TM

a slender thread of faith.

[ for a long time then i seemed to live by a slender thread of faith, spun out from within me. from this single thread i spun strands that joined me to the good things of the world. and then i spun more threads that joined all the strands together, making a life. when it was complete, or nearly so, it was shapely and beautiful in the light of day. it endured through the nights, but sometimes it only barely did. it would be tattered and set awry by thing that fell or blew or fled or flew. many of the strands would be broken. those i would have to spin and weave again in the morning. ] -WB

a conversation.

i am not living if i am not living for You.
     but i do not know what i am doing.
     is that okay?
what do you ask of me?
     i do not know how to pray.
     is it okay if i only seek?
seek and you shall find.
knock and the door shall be opened.
ask and you shall receive.
     where shall i look?
     which door shall i choose?
     i do not know the question.

O God, You are a God of mysteries.
     be mysterious to me, my God, that i might wonder.
O God, You are a God of power.
     overwhelm me.
O God, You are a God of grace and mercy and love.
     penetrate me.

i am not sure, but i believe that i have heard You.
     can i see You?

do my desires please You?

am i faithful?

O God, grant me the desire to know You.
     i need not know anything else.
O God, grant me the faith to seek You.
     i need not know where i am going.
O God, grant me the peace and patience to wait for You.
     i do not need answers or direction.
     i need only to walk with You.


[i believe that i love You.]

haiti.

my friends are returning to haiti this week. i am not going with them. please pray for them, for the work that has started, for the work that is needed, and for the work that will come. please pray for strength and for peace. please pray that they are filled with love, with that Divine Love of grace and mercy and beauty and power and truth. pray that they would be filled, and that they would be poured out in faith and humility.