in the dark, the light shone brightly on us.

i don't know where to begin.  i have far too many things running through my head right now.  chronological order seems rather difficult.  order of importance too.  i am sitting at my desk right now, which is one of those short plastic folding tables that every church has an abundance of.  we only have a few here, and one of them is my desk.  i feel honored.  

thankfully, jeremy doesn't make much use of desks, which is good for me, because i do.  i am already pretty attached to this one.  i moved the lamp, our only source of light, from the night-stand to the desk so that i could still read and write at night.  i was afraid that i might keep jeremy up at night as i tend to stay up a bit later than he does, but it doesn't seem to bother him.  and he says he is a slob, but i don't mind, as long as his slobbishness doesn't encroach on the desk.  we share the guest-room, which is much nicer than jay and diana's room.  the bed is more comfortable.  the curtains are white and lacy.  the lamp turns off when you touch it.  and the river flows rather closely by our window, so the background noise is always pleasant.  to be honest, i have struggled to get over my preconceptions and stop feeling guilty.  maybe i can move into the shack in a few months.  for now, i am safe, and certainly comfortable enough.  

this weekend has been incredible.  i badly wish that i could share in detail everything that i have experienced, but neither of us has the time.  but there is that saying about something beyond your wildest dreams or something, and i don't really remember my dreams much, but i think that applies here.  

yesterday afternoon we went to port au prince to buy food.  pastor charles' brother drove (like a crazy person, even for a haitian) and his son alexander and some cousins came with us.  they are all wonderful, and we had a great time.  the journey was long, and after stopping to get our american dollars exchanged for haitian gouds, we made it to the caribbean market, which is really a quite fancy grocery store (not quite a publix) with a lot of import stuff.  it almost felt like home.  so we did our shopping and headed out.  it was raining, and our groceries took space in the truck, so five of us had to ride in the back.  it was raining, which doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was pouring, and within about three seconds i was freezing.  we were all freezing.  so we started making our way through port au prince, haitians laughing all the way...  i hate to leave out all the details, but we eventually made it home.  our crazy driver hit a ditch-size pothole on the national highway going about 60, and we blew a tire.  turns out we were lucky, because it's not really a great place to get a flat, especially at night, especially with four white people with a lot of money in my pocket.  but we survived.  didn't get robbed, didn't die of hypothermia.  

as we were driving out of the city, i was sitting with my back against the truck, looking out over the side of the bed.  it was pretty dark and raining pretty heavily.  but as i watched the rain drops falling in the light from the car behind us, with the face of a few haitians in my periphery, shacks and folks lining the streets, i kept thinking that i felt really alive.  it's hard to explain, but i just kept thinking, wow, God, you brought me here, and i am really wet and really cold and really uncomfortable, but there is nowhere that i would rather be right now than in the back of this truck with my two american and six haitian brothers.  thank You.  

so we made it home.  there was a giant piece of bone in the stew, so i had some rice for dinner, and eventually went to bed feeling strangely satisfied.  this morning we woke up and headed back to port au prince with our new friends the kopps, who are from canada.  eh?  they don't actually say that.  they do say aboot.  they also have american greencards.  they have been in haiti for two years now.  ben is a pastor in the orthodox presbyterian church and is working mostly on a big island called lago nav.  they live about 30 minutes north of us.  they took us to pastor charles' brother's church where ben preached.  i felt pretty crummy this morning, and it was very hot, and when you feel crummy and it is hot and church is slow and in french and creole, i think you tend to not like it.  i did, in fact, not like it.  but that's okay.  i made it through and shortly after decided that i could stay in haiti, and we made our way to the kopps' house.  which is amazing.  and which is very close to a beach resort.  which, after a wonderful vegetarian lasagna lunch (ben was very sweet to tell heather that i don't eat meat, and heather was very sweet to not tell me to get over it) we headed to the beach.  we swam, got stung by jellyfishes, played soccer, and swam some more.  it was really wonderful to get to spend the day with them, and to hear about living in haiti from the perspective of a foreigner.  they loved us well, and shared much knowledge and wisdom.  we are all very thankful for our new friends.  

when we arrived back at the mission around 5:30, we were overjoyed to see a group of children playing games and singing.  our first four orphans had arrived and the children from the village that go to the church had gathered to welcome them.  it was so wonderful, so beautiful.  as i walked up, some of the children called and welcomed me and wanted to hold my hand and sit on my lap and touch my ears and beg me to throw them in the air or swing them around or hold them.  and i felt love.  and so much joy.  and so, so much hope.

after a while, we all went over in front of the orphanage for an inauguration ceremony.  pastor charles' wife and pastor gabriel (who pastors the church here at the mission) spoke.  i have no clue what they said, except for a lot of stuff about children and God.  then they took the four boys into the orphanage and gave them snacks, and then we partied.  sortof.  

i can't tell you how amazing it was to see those boys walk into the orphanage.  i can't tell you what my heart felt.  and i can't explain to you now all about the orphanage and the orphans and the mission.  but i can tell you that i am supposed to be here.  i was supposed to be here today.  and God-willing i will be here tomorrow.  

thank you, from the depths of my heart.  and thank You, Father of Life, Father to orphans.  

here are some pictures.  they aren't good, but they'll give you an idea.