faith hope LOVE

[ therefore, if i trust in God's grace i must also show confidence in the natural powers He has given me, not because they are my powers but because they are His gift.  if i believe in God's grace, i must also take account of my own free will, without which His grace would be poured out upon my soul to no purpose.  if i believe that He can love me, i must also believe that i can love Him.  if i do not believe that i can love Him, then i do not believe Him who gave us the first commandment: "thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart and thy whole mind and all thy strength, and thy neighbor as thyself." ]

                                                                 

everyday i question why i am here.  everyday i suffer some small guilt for not doing enough.  everyday i wonder how i can live in a place with so much need and yet sit as if i were crippled and do nothing.  and yet everyday God reminds me that all of my doings are worthless if they are not done for Him, if they are not done of the strength that He has given, if they are not done of a love for Him.  perhaps i came too early. perhaps i needed to learn to love first.  perhaps i needed to learn to trust.  

[ hope deprives us of everything that is not God, in order that all things may serve their true purpose as means to bring us to God. ]

i do not know why i am here.  i do not know what i should do.  i pray everyday that God would order my life wisely.  i pray everyday that He would show me what i ought to do.  some days He does.  some days i sit and wonder.  i have no more confidence than when i arrived.  i feel like i have only become more of a child.  but i have an ever-changing and slowly growing Faith.  i am learning to live by Hope.  and i am being redeemed by Love.